Tila Tequila. What is there to say about this girl? I had previously written an entry about her but it was lost to the wrath of the faultiness of Florida Power & Light Company. An owl lodged itself into a transformer which led to a city-wide blackout, so keep up the crackerjack job fellas. I was at a loss, I did not know if I would be able to emulate the same amount of “awesome” that the recently deceased post had possessed, that is… until I saw another commercial advertising “Shot of Love 2″ and I got pissed.

There’s just something about Tila Tequila that angers me, its innate. Almost as if somewhere, amongst all those ribosomes, nucleic acids, chromosomes, and xylophones, God had just spit balled some genetic trait in me to automatically hate Tila. So if you do get offended by this you won’t be hating me… you’d be hating God, but I digress.

The whole premise for “The Shot of Love” is Tila can finally find some love which is rubbish in itself because whores can’t love. When was the last time you picked up a trick, took her to the movies, had a nice dinner at an upscale restaurant and then romanced her with a medley of adult contemporary love songs from the 80’s? Hell I would, if there was a chick that was willing to sexual satisfy me for a buck-fifty I’d introduce her to the parents and take her out to the family beach house. But no, whores won’t have it because they’re too busy getting it on in the backseat or tossing salads.

Apparently to receive Tila’s love you have to EARN it, by completing and succeeding in a number of “games” less physically challenging than the Gauntlet, more mundane than FearFactor but definitely less revolting than Flavor of Love


Ho-ly Sh-*beep*

So whoever wins the game gets to have a “date” with Tila. Been there done that! You guys know how these celebrity-love shows are. What really peeves me is the so-called “drama” that UNFOLDS throughout the show. Drama based on what? Bullshit, that’s what. Drama that has no twists, and no unexpected surprises. Only drama that EVERYONE would expect if you put lesbians together with “dudes” who are all gunning for one single girl. Why would “dudes” warrant a pair of quotation marks? Because “dudes” specify a type of male devoid of all creative thought and intelligence. Whose lives are shaped and led by one thing and one thing only, and lady it rhymes with ‘pushy”.


Asian ‘pushy’

And then the commercial showed Tila crying, and I remember interviews where she just seemed so desperate for love. She almost made it seem like she rightfully deserved it even. Let’s cut the proverbial shit Tila and come clean shall we? No don’t start crying, no girl don’t even touch me lemme ’splain something to you m’kay? You are an attention seeking whore. ASW’s can’t afford to find love because no one gives a hoot (it took ALOT of willpower to not write what I wanted to write, and ladies it rhymes with ‘phuck’) about ASW’s who are not partying all the time, who are not making the headlines, who are not indulging in the sinful decadence that life has to offer. Love? That’s something for like, ya know normal people. What this girl really needs to do to find love is to drop the shenanigans, but put on some clothes, and try to find “the one” the right way. Not through seeing who can chug a hotdog slushie the fastest (yes that was a challenge). If anything, Tila get away from that damn show because it ain’t like MTV’s trying to help you. Have you seen the kind of socialite trash they bring onto that show? Maybe there might be one or two gems but… ugh-yuck.

Example of induced: ugh-yuck


Chi sono io che scherzo? Ladies would you like phuck me?

tila’s credentials:
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tila_tequila)

playboy: asian cybergirl of the month

hostess of pants-off dance-off

lead singer of band “jealousy”

singles include “sex” and “paralyze”

new line of clothing slogan “So hot you’ll just want to take it all off”

-Leu