As I’m strolling into the Tartan Pavilian, the local place to get some good pizza and have a nice overlook of the football stadium I’m rocking my one and only Miami Hurricanes football shirt. On my mind there is only one glorious thing, the UM vs UF game coming up in nearly an hour.
Some quick little background info- I am a diehard ‘Canes fan, I bleed Orange and Green, I love Ibises, and I hate Tim Tebow (the quarterback for the Gators).
So as I pass by these two semi-chums that I kinda know but I kinda don’t and then they turn to me, they decide to smirk up. The one on the left, sporting a sadistic smile tells me:
“Hey will… do you know, Tim Tebow does not get wet, water gets Tim Tebowed…”
and the one on the right says (right before embarking on a chuckle fest):
“Tim Tebow is not allowed to sky dive… one Grand Canyon is enough!”
I am utterly flabbergasted.. trash talking during DINNER TIME? They aren’t even from Florida, they don’t even know what an I- formation is, the touch of a football, who John Madden is and much less the smell of a vagina. Who are they to talk trash to MOI?
“Excuse me good sirs?”, I barely manage to reply, “How would you like to go through life with only one functioning teste? Have you ever tried testicle tar tar mothatruckas?”
Let’s get one thing straight, If bitch were an acronym it would stand for Tim Tebow.
Tim Tebow routinely pulls off this “I’m a good Christian boy” act like he’s Saint Tebow, that foo’ is burning pages of the bible for aerosol treatments, making love to quadripeds before marriage and just overall being a bitch. Bitches aint Christians they just bitches. And oh yeah, did I forget to mention he’s dating a pornstar?! What? Don’t believe me?!
(yes this is the future Mrs. Tebow)
What? UM lost you say? I’m just talking smack? Please dawg, Tim Tebow is chubby, and you know what Sean Spence says, FAT NI**AS AINT SHIIIII..
titties are the DEVIL!!!
i still read this, you know. i wish you guys would update.