If you’ve seen my illustrations, then you know that I am an avid squid and octopus fan. Why? Because they are so freaking weird. I graciously dug through the youtube vault and extracted a couple freaky videos involving these lovely cephalopods, including one where a 400 pound Japanese man grapples with an octopus in front of a crowd of elementary-school students.

Keep your splash jackets handy kids! Things could get a little nas-tay!

This first video showcases the epic struggle between man and…dinner. Things get interesting around the 4 minute mark when “Kobayashi” takes a machete and drives it into his opponents forehead. He then rips open the octopuses head and turns it inside out, all while the kids in the audience chant enthusiastically. Man, I love Japan!

This is a video of an octopus experimenting with LSD (wow!):

In this clip, Barney narrates a beautiful scene in nature in which an octopus completely owns a spiny dog fish shark by snapping its spine into pieces. Fast forward to 1:40 for the meat and potatoes.

Here an unsuspecting diver gets humped by a feral octopus. The octopus leaves satisfied, but not before unleashing gallons of diarrhea in his wake.

Any frequenter of Ebaum’s world in the last couple of years has probably already seen this video. But it is totally badass regardless.