If you haven’t already seen the new Pixar movie WALL-E, then get up off your ass. In a summer where box office gold is being pumped out on an almost weekly basis WALL-E definitely stands out as one of the more, how could I word this? Epic movies of this summer. But as always with success comes hate, the pundits and critics are out in full bloom tossing their two-cents worth of verbal excrement. Many people acknowledge WALL-E as one big piñata of social commentary. The trash-ridden Earth a bleak look into our future, it’s a sight that would have made Al Gore either weep like a little girl or orgasm like the most experienced of porn stars . Critics and activists alike support WALL-E as the model medium to translate the message of “global warming” to a broader audience than the ever so optimistic “Day after Tomorrow” did.

There are others arguing that WALL-E’s message is that of the worlds, no scratch that AMERICA’S “tub-gut” problem. In the movie humans fled the Earth to their corporate sponsored luxury-resort spaceships where they and for generations after led easy, lethargic lives eventually devolving into basically Play-Doh people. Blinded by a continuous feed of television, snazzy advertising, and social networking-AHEMfacebookmyspaceeharmonyy-whoo excuse me I seemed to have soiled myself. Along with being equipped with the iPhone of Lay-Z Boy chairs WALL-E has become the poster boy of YMCA’s and Jenny Craig fitness centers everywhere.

Which is all fine and dandy until you walk outside and can instantly pick out 20 other people around the block that are even fatter. People also view WALL-E as an outcry against big corporations and their inevitable takeover of private enterprise. In the film Buy ‘n Large basically controls the entire world, uhm yeah the entire world. The CEO of the corporation is even the CEO of yes, the world. No where throughout Earth and in the luxury space cruiser is a square inch not plastered, broadcasting, or showcasing the ­­­­­­company logo. Much to my delight there was even a billboard advertisement adjacent to the Apollo lunar mission site, mmm classy.

Then there are the crazies who think WALL-E signifies the advent of the oncoming robotic revolution. These folks are usually quirky, insomniacs, and sexually depraved so our best bet for safety would be just to wait it out until the new Star Wars flick comes out.

But truth be told these people need to just CHILL. Breathe, relax, touch yourself, just anything just chill out and remember this is a Disney Pixar children’s movie. People need to stop going with all the hype and realize this movie for what it truly is… a love story. A lone robot stranded on this desolate planet that’s just in the shitter. He’s become self-aware collecting interesting scraps of memorabilia, befriending a cockroach who we will aptly name “Bob” for the heck of it, and becoming enamored with “Hello Dolly!” And witnessing the simplest of human gestures, holding hands, he realizes that he is truly alone. And you feel for Wall-E you truly do as each of his antics reminiscent of a time when we were all dopey lovebirds uncertain of how to express our feelings but we did know that we LOVED. Loved as Wall-E loved EVE, his robotic laser-cannon wielding soul mate. And the relationship between the two robots that Pixar tries to illustrate is just another testament as to why Pixar is and forever shall be the leader in CGI movies leaps and bounds beyond Dreamworks and LucasFilm. Their ability to express the relationship through absolutely NO dialogue, through Wall-E’s awkward advances and EVE’s destructive responses we can truly see the love and emotion that “overrides” the two. You can’t help but hope with bated breath with every attempt Wall-E makes to hold EVE’s hand. You can’t help but grimace as the two are torn apart and you can’t especially help but cheer when the two finally, hand-in-hand realize the love the two have for each other. Believe me when I say that I would love to describe the journey that these two ‘bots make but no words could ever come close to grasping the full beauty of it. Hence the next to no dialogue that occurs between the two besides a few synthesized “WAAAALLLLLEEEEEE” or “EEEEEVVVUHHHAAAA”.

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